How to remain single and not get into a relationship after break up?
Breaking up with your partner can be an emotional roller coaster for both you and your partner. It does not matter that who initiated the breakup or who gave up on the relationship. At the moment you may be calm and rational, full of motivation and enthusiasm to start afresh, and the very next moment you are deep drowned in sorrows, non-stop stalking your ex on social media or calling them. You are then feeling regret and suffering in down there. It is actually difficult remaining single after break up but trust me it is not impossible.
It might be a difficult journey to be single again, especially if it was a long-term relationship in which you had dedicated a lot of time and effort.
Following are some useful tips that might make your journey a lot easier and happy to live with and will help you in remaining single after breakup-
1. Stop blaming yourself
Questions like how, why, if, what went wrong, am I doing something wrong, naturally pops up in our mind after a breakup. It goes without saying that you cannot be completely faultless as it takes both parties to have a relationship broken up. Be truthful to yourself that you might have played a major part in the breakup. Nevertheless, there will be a time where you will have to stop dwelling on the past and holding yourself responsible for whatever happened. Learn to cry and move on. We all have right to make our fair share of mistakes in life. You should start a fresh journey eliminating all the negative thoughts about yourself and emerging as a more confident and smart personality.
2. Learn to be more emotionally independent
We become very dependent in a relationship because we always have someone with whom we can share the very minute details of our day-to-day life. We share everything from a broken nail to the office fight. Becoming emotionally dependent in a long term relationship is quite natural because we keep our partner’s opinion frequently, acknowledgement and approval of us and all the things we do. This strong emotional bond with another individual can make it hard to be single after a long relationship, especially when that emotional dependency is gone. Therefore, one of the most important things you should do after a breakup is to work on becoming more emotionally independent.
3. Find something to keep yourself occupied
Your mind will be occupied with the thoughts of your breakup for quite a long duration after you decide to stay alone. You may also feel directionless, lost or feel very low about yourself after a breakup.
Keeping yourself busy by filling your time with awesome fun activities will help you drive away these negative thoughts about yourself. Make a bucket list of yours and then trying completing it in a predefined time frame. Start saying ‘yes’ to the events and parties you are invited to, even if you have doubt whether you will enjoy it or not. You never know what wonderful things might be waiting for you out there. Try to find activities that makes you feel happy and where you can meet many people. For instance, you may like joining a group activity like hiking, photography or baking etc. Gaining a variety of new experiences and enthusiastically trying to do things that you enjoy will also help in boosting up your confidence level.
4. Find other single friends
It does not mean that you leave your attached or married friends, but having single who will understand your situation better will be more comforting. You can also do things that are more spontaneous with your single friends (such as last minute holidays or dinner date) and enjoy that single hood offers you. Even if you are a single parent, do not forget to take care of yourself and try doing the things you love whenever you get time. Do not feel ashamed in seeking help from family and friends when needed.
5. Get comfortable doing things on your own
You may find it scary to do things on your own initially when you have been so accustomed always having your partner readily available for you. However, being single after a long relationship takes a toll on your mind and requires you to get accustomed to being comfortable to do things on your own. These include your daily activities and fun things like going shopping on your own and also the more serious ones like learning how to get your laptop fixed.
You might feel doing these things may be very difficult initially. But with time you will learn to live your life on your own and you might explore such beautiful things you never bothered to notice earlier. This phase may be a bit hard on you and your mental health, but there is only one way out of it, to move on. Just move on and you will emerge as a much better and strong person you ever used to be.