To be honest, to a more or less degree narcissism is present in all of us. Sometimes you don’t identify this in someone until and unless you are deeply attached to them. While initially, their narcissism may appear as self-confidence that you admire, over the time this quality begins to annoy you. Just because the person is narcissistic doesn’t mean they are not lovable or fun. It is just that sometimes their narcissism overpowers their other qualities. While I am not sure if you could change your narcissistic partner altogether, you certainly can deal with them in a better way.
But before we move on to how to deal with a narcissistic partner, we must know what a narcissist is? Narcissists are those who have an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. They just can’t stop admiring and loving themselves. So, now, let us move on to some tips to deal with such people.
Here are some of the tips to deal with your narcissistic partner–
- 1. Try cutting his exaggeration:
- 2. Expect their self-obsession:
- 3. Stop their need of wanting “the best”:
- 4. Their constant need for attention:
- 5. Dealing with their unrealistic goals:
- 6. Their easily hurt feelings:
- 7. Their reaction to criticism:
- 8. Their concern about other’s emotions:
- 9. Taking advantage of others:
- 10. Maintaining a healthy relationship:
1. Try cutting his exaggeration:
As soon as you identify that you are with a narcissistic partner, try cutting down whatever they say to at least by half of the allege. You must have heard a grain of salt; well buckle up you are going to need a bag here.
2. Expect their self-obsession:
Being obsessed with themselves and not having consideration of other’s need is something you should always expect from a narcissistic partner. But then the question arises “what kind of a relationship do you have?” you could answer this by looking at the other pieces of your relationship which are positive for you.
3. Stop their need of wanting “the best”:
When it comes to decision making, your narcissistic partner is more likely to spend money on stuff that makes them look good rather than things that are practical. So when you are confronted with such behavior you need to take control of the money immediately.
4. Their constant need for attention:
Your entire attention will be focused on catering their needs and providing them with constant reinforcements. In such situation, begin discounting yourself gradually. This will give the idea that what they are doing indeed is not enough and they might direct their attention to you.
5. Dealing with their unrealistic goals:
This situation demand a bit of your attention as your partner will dream of supercilious situations that they might thing is easy and doable. You set your goal on an abridged version that goal and try to get them there. It might frustrate or upset them completely in the beginning, but it would be rewarding if you get them there.
6. Their easily hurt feelings:
Now when their lofty dreams fail the inner child in them needs love and acceptance again. During such situations, you can guard yourself by providing some positive reinforcements as a crisis remedy, so you don’t have to deal with a depressed person later.
7. Their reaction to criticism:
When you point out to the mistake of your narcissistic partner , they are more likely to take out their anger on you rather than on their issue. In such situations, you have to remind yourself to not to take anything they say personally; think of them like a spoiled and hurt kid talking.
8. Their concern about other’s emotions:
It is not new that your narcissistic partner is more concerned about his own satisfaction rather than other’s need. Even if they listen to your pain, it will be only to push their own wished. And unfortunately this is something which is almost impossible to change, and you need to be hands-on in making yourself happy. Try not to depend on your partner, rather take care of yourself because sadly, you are on your own.
9. Taking advantage of others:
This is where the real test of your marriage begins; when their dreams fail, it will be because they didn’t get enough help from others and they will push to use your resources so that they could achieve their dreams. You will have to be strong enough to enroll yourself to work on their unrealistic, lofty dreams.
10. Maintaining a healthy relationship:
If you decide to stay in the relationship, you will have to accept the fact that you will be doing almost all the work. You have to balance their narcissism with other qualities. Understanding, supporting, always being there for them will be some of your main responsibilities. It will be a great effort to maintain your self-esteem with a narcissistic partner.