Engagement: thoughts for the man to ponder

For most people, getting engaged is something that they will only do once in their lives. It is a huge day and a massively significant one. And, from a man’s perspective, engagement is something that you can plan. Let’s be honest – weddings tend to be the women’s domain. She has imagined the big day when she walks down the aisle to betroth herself to her prince charming since she was about ten. From the dress to the vows to the ceremony and the music and the flowers and the cake, these are usually things that the woman decides, and which the groom rubberstamps. But the engagement is a chance for the guy to pull out all the stops, to bring his personality and style to the nuptials. There is plenty of scope for things to wrong, but here are a few angles you might want to consider.

The ring strategy

This is not easy… you are going to ask her to marry you and traditionally this is a gesture that is accompanied by a ring. It’s a ring that she will wear for the rest of her life, so you need to get it right – the last thing you want to do is gift her something that she doesn’t like. So, what do you do? If she picks out a ring with you then the element of surprise is gone. If you do it without a ring, then the element of romance is gone. If you buy a ring and get it wrong, then there are also hassles. This latter route is, however, the best to go. The good news is that in Sydney engagement rings sellers are plenty. This is the case in most major cities. So, shop around. It is about finding something that fits your budget, but also make sure that you can swap the ring if required. If they won’t let you exchange the ring after the proposal, then rather find another supplier.   

People will ask

You will be asked repeatedly about the proposal, so you had better make sure that you have a story to tell. Especially when talking to her friends and family. The moment is something that needs to speak to who you are as a couple but there must be effort and thought that has gone into the moment. If she loves romance, then you need to come up with something special. If she loathes surprises, then don’t spring it on her. If she is shy, then don’t do the proposal at halftime in the rugby. But more specifically, spend time and effort focussing on what the two of you are about and make sure that shines through in the proposal.

Love, not money

When a couple gets married it should be about love. It is a lifelong commitment that is for better or worse. So, do not be distracted by money. Don’t wait until you have enough of it before you pop the question. Don’t feel compelled to spend too much on the ring or the proposal. Never lose sight of the fact that you are marrying for love – the rest is just details, that will fall into place and which will be manageable if tackled with love. 

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